Hola amigos! Ive been in Buenos Aires the last 2 nights in a hostel with my friends from UNC Catherine Steddum, Chad Mosby, and Johnathon Clemmets. Weve been going through the city seeing the famous things, my favorite being this huge metal flower (maybe 40 feet) that opens and closes like a normal flower would during the day. When we saw it in a plaza yesterday, we layed down in the grass and took a nap which was glorious, until our stomachs starting churning. Then, like your stereotypical American, we went on a search for a McDonalds (my suggestion, be quiet, i know its not healthy...) and i got to try a dulce de leche mcflurry...yall are missing out, thats all im saying. the mcDonalds here are really classy...the uniforms are really cute with a fitted brown shirt with little puff sleeves and there were computers upstairs for customers to use. not to mention the bathrooms were clean AND had toilet paper...a rare find in the city. Well my friends took off today, Catherine back to the US and Chad and Johnathan to Iguazu Falls to continue their journey. So Im staying in the hostel by myself, which is actually pretty fun (although its only been about 3 hours). I went grocery shopping and bought a ton of food and the most expensive wine they had (which was almost $5) all for about $12. Muy barato! Tonight I am meeting up with my other friend from UNC to go to the Los Cafres concert, a famous regge group that I listen to. Tomorrow Im going with an Irish guy from the hostel to some big camping store to help him pick out a sleeping bag among other things. He has been traveling for 5 months so far and has no time frame but wants to finish in Alaska...and isnt going to take any boats or planes. Today, I told him about the appalachain trail and how it takes most people 5 to 8 months to hike and he said, hm, I think Id like to do that. He was serious. So heres a girl who has hiked maybe 100 miles of the 2070 something trying to explain to someone who doesnt hike how to go about hiking the trail...hopefully well get some guidebook for him later. But the hostel is so rad...whenever I wake up, I go down to the first floor for the included breakfast of bread w a cheese spread and dulce de leche with a cafe con leche or a tea. Theres a TV, couch, bean bags, a bar, pool table, maybe 4 rooms with 4 bunkbeds each, 4 bathrooms, a cat, and several people that I havent figured out if they work there or if theyve just lived in the hostel for awhile.
Thats all for now, not too much deep philosophical stuff (whew!), and if youre reading this Id love to receive an email about what youve been up to and how you are doing and if i can pray for you. Besos mil!
martes, 24 de junio de 2008
lunes, 16 de junio de 2008
This week I have enjoyed the abundant riches I have found in letting go. On Wednesday, I went to el Juventud para Cristo, a sort of safe haven for youth in a rough neighborhood. I was invited to take pictures of the daily activities and also of the young girl and her daughter. I began taking pictures in a cooking class (they were making pasta from scratch), then of some of the older kids about my age painting a golden-yellow room, a small class of 16 year-olds learning about, um, I think it was about healthy work habits or something related to getting into a career, and then finally of the mother and her daughter that I wrote about earlier. The mother of 17 years has a daughter who is
2. The father does not support the two of them in any way and used to beat the mother. The police aren't doing anything. The mom works a job,is going back to school, and goes to this center which has been supporting her the whole time. She wrote a biography/testimony of her experience which is being published and the organization was collecting pictures to send in. It was very humbling to take pictures of her and her daughter and to play such a small role in her getting her voice heard. I returned the next night without my camera, this time to take part in the bible study offered every Thursday evening. A friend of mine who I met at a bible study, Ana (not the one I live with), leads the group and invited me to come and share with them. After we same some songs led by Nicolas on the guitar and Javier on the bongos and I heard from all the kids (ages 15-19), I shared from the passage in Matthew 10:39 that says "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." I told them about how recently (since Sunday) I've been learning the lesson that it isn't until I die to myself and my plans and self-seeking goals that I will find life in God. By the grace of God, I talked about this in Spanish for about 5 minutes or so. I was both nervous and calm. I was nervous because I've never been around a big group of kids that age here (most of the time they've all been older than me and some spoke english), and I felt like I was being stared at, like that they expected me to be a certain way, or perhaps the very opposite, that they had no idea what to expect. So that was strange to feel, but hey, I'm learning what being a minority is like. But thankfully I was not nervous to speak, that came with such ease! Normally when I'm in a group that size here, if I dare say anything in Spanish, I can feel my face turning red. Thankfully that isn't happening as much now, haha.
I actually got to take pictures of the trash place, sorry, I really don't know a more politically correct way to say that. The pictures aren't great in terms of lighting and composition because I couldn't go inside and the sun was really harsh, but it still tells a bit of a story. I was driving with my friend Luis and he got out of the car and asked a man living there if I could take pictures and he was fine with it. Luis is in charge of Juventud para Cristo and CAIF which is the center for new mothers and their babies. He's kept and is keeping me busy in terms of photography! I accompanied him to a meeting that educated a lot of social workers and such about healthy family life, sexual abuse/health, etc, at this beautiful camp that's among farmland that he and others helped to build years and years ago. Fue relindo! (Very beautiful). There were about 30 people there from Uruguay, Argentina, Brasil, Bolivia, and Chile for this 3-day conference/meeting. It was so fun taking pictures of them and chatting with some of them. Luis and I have grown pretty close…he's a great, intelligent, humble man with a huge heart!
Saturday night I went out for the first time like the rest of the young Uruguayans. First I went to a pub to hear my friend's rock band play in this stone room that was underground…you can imagine how loud that was! The concert didn't start till midnight, so I took a bus into the city along with many rambunctious, fully pre-gamed kids and my friend Nicolas who speaks close to no English. The concert was so great although I didn't understand many of the lyrics. The band is a group of 3 Christian men and they often play in bars and such to spread their message of hope to that crowd. I apologize if this is really choppy…I'm exhausted and still recovering from going out that night. So I left the concert with some friends to go to Ciudad Vieja, or Old City, around 2am to find a club and didn't leave until almost 6. Ay! The buses start to run at 6am, so it was a convenient time to leave so we didn't have to pay for a taxi. So it was 7 by the time I went to bed, and I woke up at 10 to go to the house church around the corner to teach Sunday school…good plan, huh? Then after a 3 hour siesta and another café con leche, I went out to another church where one of the friend's I went with goes, and his dad is the pastor. It was hard to understand much of the sermon since it was a man speaking very fast Spanish (men here are so hard for me to understand), but I got the gist of it since I was familiar with the passage (Romans 8).
So yes, last week was full of opportunities as is this week as well. However, I know that Satan is right around the corner and wants to trip me up. I can see it several different areas as some of my friends here are feeling the same. Uruguay is such an interesting place with their beliefs. It is not common to find a practicing Christian here, so when a church or organization is doing great things to further God's kingdom, I'm pretty sure that gets Satan pretty pissed, and thus, I see him at work. But it's not ju
lunes, 9 de junio de 2008
Revisiting the Mission Statement
I've been thinking back to my mission statement I wrote a few entries ago and am frustrated because I feel like I'm not living that out. But I want to. As a reminder, I wrote that I want to "pour my life out as an offering to God. I want to be spent, sold out in obedience to God...whatever that looks like. But to obey, one has to hear, which is another hope of mine while I'm in Montevideo...to have the desire to ask for God's voice, to actually hear it, and to radically obey. " So lately I've been focusing mainly on the obedience, but in that, distorting what obedience is…what I even wrote that it is. Obedience, to clarify to myself and to you all, is not doing things, but responding to God. I've been wanting to do things though, and I knew that before I came down here. I wanted to get up with the sun and take a bus into the city, volunteer for an organization or with a group for awhile, and return in the evenings to relax, go to church stuff, or explore the town. So can I just say how much that is NOT happening? Ever since I've arrived here, it seems like every door I try to prod open is locked. I'm talking won't budge. I've tried my best to make it known to the people I meet that I am here, have a free summer, and want to serve in the community by doing things. While there are surely many needs here, it is difficult to find someone who wants to be helped or a group who needs help. There have been countless times where I feel like yelling out "Hola! I have nothing to do! Does ANYONE need help?" So for any of you who are not abroad and thus feel like you're not "off saving the world," let me just tell you straight up: I'm not either. Uruguay doesn't need a gringa to do things for them. ..they have been very much self-sufficient for awhile. And those who need things generally need money, and I'm not really in a position to be giving a lot of that away.
Last night, my obsessive frustration with my lack of actual doing (even though I wanted to be doing) was revealed to me (probably unknowingly) by a missionary here named Charles…Kyle's dad. We were in house church and Ana was leading it, but Charles made some side comment (I don't even remember how it related) about the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. In summary, Jesus went over to their house (they were sisters) and Martha was very busy preparing the meal and such for Jesus to serve him while he was there, and Mary just sat at his feet to listen to him talk. Martha asked Jesus to tell Mary that she should be helping her in the kitchen, but Jesus said that Mary has chosen what is better. I've heard that story many times in various sermons and Bible studies, but never when I actually needed to hear it. It made me realize that I've been hoping and trying to validate my time here by doing lots of things. All I wanted to do though was serve, who can argue with that, right? Wrong. Serving in any way is an amazing and humbling thing to do, but what is the point if I am not in communion with God…supposedly the one I am serving? As some of my friends know, it has been hard for me to pray lately, to even desire to do so, and the same thing with reading Scripture. Since those things are means of communicating with God, I am essentially saying that I haven't been wanting to talk to or know God lately. So I think that would make me some sort of a hypocrite if I was to work with some group, or even do anything "in God's name" or "to serve Him" when I can think of a million other things I'd rather do than talk to this "great God" with whom I'd like people to know that I am associated. Since yesterday, I haven't magically started desiring God as I used to, and I haven't done anything (since I've learned that's gotten me no where so far), but rather I've given up something. I'm surrendering my "good works." They're useless apart from faith. I surrender my striving. I am actually starting to believe that there is NO GOOD WORK I can do here that will earn God's favor or love for me, because I have it already. It is faith, in Him, just a loving relationship, a yearning for love and intimacy that I choose to fill with that which God can offer me. Well dang, I'm living here in Uruguay all summer and one of the first really hard spiritual lesson's I've learned is that I need to stop doing things. Great, that was an expensive epiphany. But what if I had to come down here to learn that lesson? I'm in no way saying that God couldn't have taught me this another way. But should I have stayed in the US this summer, I would be working as a rafting guide or a more boring job to stow away cash, serving myself. Sure I could've done other things, but that was my plan anyways. So I came here, expecting to serve, and realizing that it's SO not the most important thing. And I guess I had to get myself into a situation where I was obsessed with the idea of servitude in order for that lesson to sink in.
So now, I am letting God take the reigns. If he wants me to do something, He will have to make it abundantly clear to me, and in the meantime, I will seek Him where I am. This is not to say that I will remain locked in my room all day, but wherever I find myself throughout the day, I will seek to know God. Today, I was in the National Library (it took me 30 minutes to figure out how to check out a book, even with assistance, but then I realized I wasn't even able to take it out of there) and while I was reading a book on Uruguayan prisons, I just stopped and prayed "God, why the heck do I like this stuff? This is so strange that I'm fascinated by prison systems and means of rehabilitation." I decided to keep reading though, and I dared God to use this strange passion of mine, of His. It's little things like that…little daily surrenders and decisions that are so hard…not to actually make, but to turn to God and choose to share his mentality towards them.
While I was reading en la biblioteca, I got a call from my missionary friend Matt about meeting with a woman today about helping to lead a "conversation club" at a local English learning center. So today, the three of us met, and tonight, I went to meet 2 of the classes to just chat and announce that I'd be starting a conversation club, and will meet a few tomorrow, and will return on Wednesday for my first evening of convo club…2 in one night! So I'm pumped about this! The teachers are Uruguayan, so they introduced me as a "real native speaker" (not gonna lie, I totally felt like some sort of indigenous specimen) and people are excited to practice with me. Woot! (It's too bad people aren't as excited to meet me when I'm talking Spanish, haha) So this fell into my lap today, and so I say "yes" and thank God for the opportunity to be a part of education in this community!
viernes, 6 de junio de 2008
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Hola! Here's a picture of me on the beach a few nights ago. That's the city in the background and a scarf I bought at an outdoor market.
I've taken the buses (called omnibus) here several times by myself...and managed to get off at the right stops! You have no idea how big of an accomplishment this is! They are usually tight w/ ppl standing up all the time. I started up a conversation with this older lady by offering her my seat, she refusing it, but the one next to me opened up and she sat down and we chatted for awhile. I know my Spanish is getting better when I can understand strangers with more ease and dont have to ask them constantly "Que?". So last night I was going to someone's house by the omnibus at night, got off at the right stop, but it was dark and dimly lit so I started walking to look for the street I needed (Mom, Dad, don't worry!). So this other guy who got off at the same stop appeared lost and came up to me and started speaking very fast asking me if I knew where some street was he was looking for. I stopped him mid-sentence and told him I was lost too. Okay, once again, dont worry, if I had any reason to be scared, I would've used my better judgment and not have revealed this fact. This situation was just hilarious though! He looked at me blankly and asked if I was serious, I said yes, and we both started laughing. We went to go read the street sign together and I actually was able to somewhat point him in the right direction. After an "hasta luego" between bursts of laughter, I made it to my destination about a minute later. Que bueno! It's a little bit of relief for me to know that there are Uruguayans who sometimes get lost and need to ask for directions as well...I'm not alone!
This is a picture of the yerba mate that we drink all the time. I'll be bringing some back to the States!
I'm using the internet in the mall right now and some guy is eating McDonalds at a table near mine. I find it so amusing that there are McDonalds in other countries! I'll have to try something from there later to see if it's the same...
So I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking since my last entry. I've been talking about poverty with a lot of people. For starters, I found out that the "trash dump" is actually an accumulation of all the stuff that the ppl who live there have "rescued" from trash bins around the city. It's things they can maybe salvage. So it's not like they had no where else to go so they just camped out in some trash. So after talking to some people, I've started to ask the question "Who am I to tell them that they need to get out of those conditions?" A lot of people who live like that are happy that way. They won't go to shelters or send their kids to school bc the kids make good money juggling on street corners. And so if the basic necessities, who am I to tell them that they should live differently? Karen told me that this mentality of needing to go in and change ways of life even "to help people" is such a typical Christian American mentality. But once again, I ask if it's so bad to try to get people into decent houses (by decent i mean one with a roof and 4 sides), get their kids educated, and at least sufficient medical care. Just their basic, basic needs. If they don't want it though, then I'd say that it shouldn't be forced. That sounds obvious, but I mean, for example, here in Montevideo the gov't built a big housing place for people in slums, and when they got there, they didnt know any better and some ppl took out their sink and oven to sell it and instead built a fire on the floor to cook over. So there I see the need for better education on basic stuff like how to live w/ those kind of things, but also, the govt cant do everything (even though they're socialists here) and we cant expect that they will provide for all the people's needs. (Feel free to argue this one) So this is just a demonstration of one culture trying to help another that is so different and can't adjust. Food is ready and waiting for me at home so I'm gonna go, but I'll try to draw some conclusion later (or at least admit that I don't have one), and I'm sorry if this didn't make sense.
Hola! Here's a picture of me on the beach a few nights ago. That's the city in the background and a scarf I bought at an outdoor market.
I've taken the buses (called omnibus) here several times by myself...and managed to get off at the right stops! You have no idea how big of an accomplishment this is! They are usually tight w/ ppl standing up all the time. I started up a conversation with this older lady by offering her my seat, she refusing it, but the one next to me opened up and she sat down and we chatted for awhile. I know my Spanish is getting better when I can understand strangers with more ease and dont have to ask them constantly "Que?". So last night I was going to someone's house by the omnibus at night, got off at the right stop, but it was dark and dimly lit so I started walking to look for the street I needed (Mom, Dad, don't worry!). So this other guy who got off at the same stop appeared lost and came up to me and started speaking very fast asking me if I knew where some street was he was looking for. I stopped him mid-sentence and told him I was lost too. Okay, once again, dont worry, if I had any reason to be scared, I would've used my better judgment and not have revealed this fact. This situation was just hilarious though! He looked at me blankly and asked if I was serious, I said yes, and we both started laughing. We went to go read the street sign together and I actually was able to somewhat point him in the right direction. After an "hasta luego" between bursts of laughter, I made it to my destination about a minute later. Que bueno! It's a little bit of relief for me to know that there are Uruguayans who sometimes get lost and need to ask for directions as well...I'm not alone!
This is a picture of the yerba mate that we drink all the time. I'll be bringing some back to the States!
I'm using the internet in the mall right now and some guy is eating McDonalds at a table near mine. I find it so amusing that there are McDonalds in other countries! I'll have to try something from there later to see if it's the same...
So I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking since my last entry. I've been talking about poverty with a lot of people. For starters, I found out that the "trash dump" is actually an accumulation of all the stuff that the ppl who live there have "rescued" from trash bins around the city. It's things they can maybe salvage. So it's not like they had no where else to go so they just camped out in some trash. So after talking to some people, I've started to ask the question "Who am I to tell them that they need to get out of those conditions?" A lot of people who live like that are happy that way. They won't go to shelters or send their kids to school bc the kids make good money juggling on street corners. And so if the basic necessities, who am I to tell them that they should live differently? Karen told me that this mentality of needing to go in and change ways of life even "to help people" is such a typical Christian American mentality. But once again, I ask if it's so bad to try to get people into decent houses (by decent i mean one with a roof and 4 sides), get their kids educated, and at least sufficient medical care. Just their basic, basic needs. If they don't want it though, then I'd say that it shouldn't be forced. That sounds obvious, but I mean, for example, here in Montevideo the gov't built a big housing place for people in slums, and when they got there, they didnt know any better and some ppl took out their sink and oven to sell it and instead built a fire on the floor to cook over. So there I see the need for better education on basic stuff like how to live w/ those kind of things, but also, the govt cant do everything (even though they're socialists here) and we cant expect that they will provide for all the people's needs. (Feel free to argue this one) So this is just a demonstration of one culture trying to help another that is so different and can't adjust. Food is ready and waiting for me at home so I'm gonna go, but I'll try to draw some conclusion later (or at least admit that I don't have one), and I'm sorry if this didn't make sense.
martes, 3 de junio de 2008
Book Review and Social Justice
Another reader's discretion: this get's real.
I can hardly believe that it has been 2 weeks already in Uruguay. The time is flying! Yesterday I finished reading the book "Good News about Injustice" by Gary Haugen, founder of the International Justice Mission. It was truly an excellent book! I respect and find Haugen's views very wise because he is first and foremost a Christian who has sought to know God and whose heart breaks over the same things God's does, and he has also used his God-given gifts and talents to rescue and liberate suffering people around the globe. He is a man of great experience in the business world and has effectively started IJM which networks Christians who are highly experienced in fields of work such as lawyers, criminal investigators, etc to intervene on behalf of victims of injustice. What often happens is that missionaries will notice injustices but are unequipped to fight them or do not have the power or energy to do so alone. They can contact the IJM which will send professionals to investigate and verify the injustice and work to liberate the oppressed…all backed by prayer warriors that stay on US soil. For example, a missionary notices that several girls stop coming to the school she started. She hears rumors that they were abducted into a brothel. She can't just bust in there and free them, nor can she turn to the police who frequent the brothel. So she contacts the IJM who sends an investigator in there to get an undercover video of the police in the brothel and the video is turned over to the police's boss who cannot deny the evidence and the girls are freed.
This book is a heart-wrenching and encouraging read that challenges its readers to boldly step forth to fight injustice in any way they can from supporting missionaries to going to law school to clothing a homeless person. But the only reason it talks about any of this is because it is something that God wants to fight as well, and has chosen to use us in the process.
"Our calling does not stop with sharing the good news. All of us are also called to do something to care for the poor. If we aren't, then, asks the apostle John, how can the love of God be within us? (1 John 3:17). And we are all called to do something to seek justice for the oppressed. Why? Because along with mercy and faith, justice, Jesus said, is one of the 'more important matters,' one that none of us can neglect (Matthew 23:23)." ~p. 175
Haugen also says to claim through words or our lifestyle that proclaiming the gospel, helping the poor, and defending the abused isn't really "our thing," then we are making a "conscious decision to impoverish our spiritual life." (176). BOLDLY PUT.
On that note, my mind has been preoccupied as it runs from one seemingly crazy idea to the next, with interspersed whispers of self-doubt that big dreamers who want real change know too well. Allow me to try to recount what I'm thinking…the topic: what can I do, here, now, in Montevideo? Saturday I was driving with my new missionary friend Matt to this center that educates mothers on basic health topics and young children on avoiding sexual abuse. It was supposed to have opened yesterday…we went to waterproof the roof and worked with the American Women's Club or something…through which I made 2 friends from the US Embassy here. So anyways, on our way there, we picked up Matt's friend Luis who runs the place. We got to talking and I told Luis that I was studying photojournalism (or periodismo de fotografia) at UNC and he asked me if I would take a picture for an article someone in their organization wrote about a young girl who has a baby from when she was raped. Of course I said yes, psyched at how beautifully that fits into my love for God, photography, and the marginalized. I'm in the process of trying to coordinate a time for this photo. If this works out and I get to take this, this will be the most serious of any photography work I've done. I mean, I took pictures for my high school newspaper, but even some of the most serious pictures I took for The Howler pale in comparison to looking a rape survivor and her child in the eye through my lens to try to help them tell their story, a hard, painful memory that hopefully, after voiced to the public and perhaps other rape survivors, will serve some sort of purpose. And I have no doubt that it will, because God has been faithful in answering my prayers and the prayers of so many others on my behalf. A prayer that cries "I am here and willing! Use me!" So all this happened in the car ride before we even got there, and so now I'm thinking, "Well dang, maybe this photojournalism thing is truly what I'm supposed to be doing after all." As we continue the drive, we pass what appears to me to be piles of trash dumped on either sides of the road. I began to see dogs running around, then I noticed young children, and then their parents and "houses" as well. These tiny shacks that were open on one side were pathethic living conditions that one would expect to see in a displacement camp in Uganda, not a 10 minute drive from an upper-middle class neighborhood in Montevideo. Trash, people! They were living on top of and surrounded by trash!! Ok, so first this made me feel very thankful for the small apartment that a family of 3 has so kindly shared with me…for the warm water in the tiny shower and for the dresser I have in my room where I can put all Garnier Fructis shampoo, Neutrogena facial moisturizer, and my little purse that is full of pesos, even though I have to bend over pretty far to look into the mirror. I have 3 blankets on my bed that is scattered with books, my laptop, and a North Face jacket. AND I had more than my fair share of tasty food today and will be running it off tomorrow. OMIGOSH are you freaking kidding me? To think that I ever feel like I don't have enough is ridiculous! Ok, so that wasn't exactly a digression, but getting back to the point, along with tying it back in with what I've learned from Haugen's book is that it is a TRAGEDY for me to look at what I saw and to just feel a bit more warm and fuzzy and thankful when I go to sleep (fairly) warm at night (houses aren't heated here). We're not supposed to look at the suffering Christ hanging on the cross and say "Sucks for him. At least I'll never claim to be a King of the Jews." Instead, I believe that we are supposed to look at Christ's suffering and allow that to change us in a radical way, we're talking life transformation, not just a warm-fuzziness. Please correct me if I'm wrong in making this comparison, but I believe that we are shown suffering for the same reason…so that it will transform us if we let it rather than occupy our thoughts for a few minutes or seconds once every few days or weeks when we watch the news or walk past a homeless person, speeding up and avoiding eye contact. I believe that it is supposed to transform us because that is what it is doing in me. It didn't used to be this way. It used to be easier to write off poor people as lazy and the homeless and druggies, but not so much over the last few years, because as with any stereotype, when you meet someone who you used to classify in a certain group and realize that they don't fit the formula, you start to question a lot…and the scariest part, the part that screws up your emotions, your time, and your wallet, is when you start to have compassion on that person. Compassion has mostly just taken things from me such as those which I just mentioned, but it gives back love, a really strong love.
Dang this is long :). Please keep reading though. I am away from home and have to tell my story, tell their story.
So now I'm thinking, "What can I do for the people who live in trash?" As we had driven past, Matt mentioned "Now this would be a great spot to take pictures." Really? Go in there? But it'll probably smell….oh shoot, there goes my self-righteous attitude again. Yeah I'd really love to take pictures there. I want to talk to them in my limited Spanish, want to see what the kids do during the day, heck, I want to see what the parents do. I want to take the pictures to the government of Montevideo or to the upper class and say "Are you going to let your brothers and sisters live like this?" If they don't listen, I'll take it back to my home church. It's like my role as a photographer, if I am to do this, is similar to that of the missionary I mentioned at the very beginning. It isn't to give them money or build them houses, because there isn't much in that department that I can do on my own. What I can do is retell what could possibly be a compelling story to the public, and get people much more equipped and skilled to act than I am. Wouldn't that be nice and entirely ideal? Well why can't it happen? That's what I asked Ana. She told me that although it is the government's fault that some people don't live in real houses, a lot of people choose that lifestyle. Why? There are supposedly plenty of centers open that will take people in, give them showers and food, and help equip them with what they need to get a basic house built to start a new life away from the trash. But there is a schedule at those places. Often times, people there have to wake up at 7am to start their days…not entirely unreasonable, but when you live amongst the trash and don't have a job or obligations, you can sleep as late as you want. So for some people, it's laziness that keeps them from going. But I'm sure some of them have to guard their "houses" and possessions. Yes, that could surely be true. That's one reason. At this point in our conversation over dinner, I felt helpless. What am I, what is the world supposed to do if some people don't want to change. "That's where God is truly the only one who has the power to act. We can do all we want to help out, but we can't change people's mentalities. But we can pray that God will change them." Dang, that girl is wise. But the world isn't gonna buy it…that ancient systems and commonly held beliefs will change by prayer. Well little voice in my head that may be playing Devil's Advocate but is stifling my newfound voice, you can just be quiet because I have an idea, let's prove the world wrong. (Now addressing my readers rather than myself, I apologize for the schizophrenia…) Some study was done that looked at people who were ill who received prayer and prayed themselves for healing as well verses those who did neither. Results showed that one group did not heal more quickly than the other…so basically, that prayer is a bunch of bull. Well that was a study on faith, which defines itself as being certain of what is unseen (Hebrews 11:1), and I'm pretty sure that a study doesn't accept things that are unseen as evidence, so I think that study is bull.
So where to from here…."We want to be good Christians, but deep down we trust that only the power of the state and its militaries and markets can really make a difference in the world…..Amid all the buzz, we are ready to turn off our TVs, pick up our Bibles, and reimagine the world"-Shane Claiborne in "Jesus for President" p. 20. Vamos! Adonde? Let's begin by opening our eyes to suffering, letting ourselves have compassion on the oppressed, know that they are our brothers and sisters under God, let that move us, respond in practical ways in the vocation, location, or calling that God has placed on our hearts, and, above all, let us fix our eyes upon God, seek to know Him and His mysterious ways, and be bold in our prayers! Perhaps a summary of our response to suffering in the world in one sentence is too simple. Or perhaps it is what we need to go back to. The simple, the basic, the bottom, the radical.
I can hardly believe that it has been 2 weeks already in Uruguay. The time is flying! Yesterday I finished reading the book "Good News about Injustice" by Gary Haugen, founder of the International Justice Mission. It was truly an excellent book! I respect and find Haugen's views very wise because he is first and foremost a Christian who has sought to know God and whose heart breaks over the same things God's does, and he has also used his God-given gifts and talents to rescue and liberate suffering people around the globe. He is a man of great experience in the business world and has effectively started IJM which networks Christians who are highly experienced in fields of work such as lawyers, criminal investigators, etc to intervene on behalf of victims of injustice. What often happens is that missionaries will notice injustices but are unequipped to fight them or do not have the power or energy to do so alone. They can contact the IJM which will send professionals to investigate and verify the injustice and work to liberate the oppressed…all backed by prayer warriors that stay on US soil. For example, a missionary notices that several girls stop coming to the school she started. She hears rumors that they were abducted into a brothel. She can't just bust in there and free them, nor can she turn to the police who frequent the brothel. So she contacts the IJM who sends an investigator in there to get an undercover video of the police in the brothel and the video is turned over to the police's boss who cannot deny the evidence and the girls are freed.
This book is a heart-wrenching and encouraging read that challenges its readers to boldly step forth to fight injustice in any way they can from supporting missionaries to going to law school to clothing a homeless person. But the only reason it talks about any of this is because it is something that God wants to fight as well, and has chosen to use us in the process.
"Our calling does not stop with sharing the good news. All of us are also called to do something to care for the poor. If we aren't, then, asks the apostle John, how can the love of God be within us? (1 John 3:17). And we are all called to do something to seek justice for the oppressed. Why? Because along with mercy and faith, justice, Jesus said, is one of the 'more important matters,' one that none of us can neglect (Matthew 23:23)." ~p. 175
Haugen also says to claim through words or our lifestyle that proclaiming the gospel, helping the poor, and defending the abused isn't really "our thing," then we are making a "conscious decision to impoverish our spiritual life." (176). BOLDLY PUT.
On that note, my mind has been preoccupied as it runs from one seemingly crazy idea to the next, with interspersed whispers of self-doubt that big dreamers who want real change know too well. Allow me to try to recount what I'm thinking…the topic: what can I do, here, now, in Montevideo? Saturday I was driving with my new missionary friend Matt to this center that educates mothers on basic health topics and young children on avoiding sexual abuse. It was supposed to have opened yesterday…we went to waterproof the roof and worked with the American Women's Club or something…through which I made 2 friends from the US Embassy here. So anyways, on our way there, we picked up Matt's friend Luis who runs the place. We got to talking and I told Luis that I was studying photojournalism (or periodismo de fotografia) at UNC and he asked me if I would take a picture for an article someone in their organization wrote about a young girl who has a baby from when she was raped. Of course I said yes, psyched at how beautifully that fits into my love for God, photography, and the marginalized. I'm in the process of trying to coordinate a time for this photo. If this works out and I get to take this, this will be the most serious of any photography work I've done. I mean, I took pictures for my high school newspaper, but even some of the most serious pictures I took for The Howler pale in comparison to looking a rape survivor and her child in the eye through my lens to try to help them tell their story, a hard, painful memory that hopefully, after voiced to the public and perhaps other rape survivors, will serve some sort of purpose. And I have no doubt that it will, because God has been faithful in answering my prayers and the prayers of so many others on my behalf. A prayer that cries "I am here and willing! Use me!" So all this happened in the car ride before we even got there, and so now I'm thinking, "Well dang, maybe this photojournalism thing is truly what I'm supposed to be doing after all." As we continue the drive, we pass what appears to me to be piles of trash dumped on either sides of the road. I began to see dogs running around, then I noticed young children, and then their parents and "houses" as well. These tiny shacks that were open on one side were pathethic living conditions that one would expect to see in a displacement camp in Uganda, not a 10 minute drive from an upper-middle class neighborhood in Montevideo. Trash, people! They were living on top of and surrounded by trash!! Ok, so first this made me feel very thankful for the small apartment that a family of 3 has so kindly shared with me…for the warm water in the tiny shower and for the dresser I have in my room where I can put all Garnier Fructis shampoo, Neutrogena facial moisturizer, and my little purse that is full of pesos, even though I have to bend over pretty far to look into the mirror. I have 3 blankets on my bed that is scattered with books, my laptop, and a North Face jacket. AND I had more than my fair share of tasty food today and will be running it off tomorrow. OMIGOSH are you freaking kidding me? To think that I ever feel like I don't have enough is ridiculous! Ok, so that wasn't exactly a digression, but getting back to the point, along with tying it back in with what I've learned from Haugen's book is that it is a TRAGEDY for me to look at what I saw and to just feel a bit more warm and fuzzy and thankful when I go to sleep (fairly) warm at night (houses aren't heated here). We're not supposed to look at the suffering Christ hanging on the cross and say "Sucks for him. At least I'll never claim to be a King of the Jews." Instead, I believe that we are supposed to look at Christ's suffering and allow that to change us in a radical way, we're talking life transformation, not just a warm-fuzziness. Please correct me if I'm wrong in making this comparison, but I believe that we are shown suffering for the same reason…so that it will transform us if we let it rather than occupy our thoughts for a few minutes or seconds once every few days or weeks when we watch the news or walk past a homeless person, speeding up and avoiding eye contact. I believe that it is supposed to transform us because that is what it is doing in me. It didn't used to be this way. It used to be easier to write off poor people as lazy and the homeless and druggies, but not so much over the last few years, because as with any stereotype, when you meet someone who you used to classify in a certain group and realize that they don't fit the formula, you start to question a lot…and the scariest part, the part that screws up your emotions, your time, and your wallet, is when you start to have compassion on that person. Compassion has mostly just taken things from me such as those which I just mentioned, but it gives back love, a really strong love.
Dang this is long :). Please keep reading though. I am away from home and have to tell my story, tell their story.
So now I'm thinking, "What can I do for the people who live in trash?" As we had driven past, Matt mentioned "Now this would be a great spot to take pictures." Really? Go in there? But it'll probably smell….oh shoot, there goes my self-righteous attitude again. Yeah I'd really love to take pictures there. I want to talk to them in my limited Spanish, want to see what the kids do during the day, heck, I want to see what the parents do. I want to take the pictures to the government of Montevideo or to the upper class and say "Are you going to let your brothers and sisters live like this?" If they don't listen, I'll take it back to my home church. It's like my role as a photographer, if I am to do this, is similar to that of the missionary I mentioned at the very beginning. It isn't to give them money or build them houses, because there isn't much in that department that I can do on my own. What I can do is retell what could possibly be a compelling story to the public, and get people much more equipped and skilled to act than I am. Wouldn't that be nice and entirely ideal? Well why can't it happen? That's what I asked Ana. She told me that although it is the government's fault that some people don't live in real houses, a lot of people choose that lifestyle. Why? There are supposedly plenty of centers open that will take people in, give them showers and food, and help equip them with what they need to get a basic house built to start a new life away from the trash. But there is a schedule at those places. Often times, people there have to wake up at 7am to start their days…not entirely unreasonable, but when you live amongst the trash and don't have a job or obligations, you can sleep as late as you want. So for some people, it's laziness that keeps them from going. But I'm sure some of them have to guard their "houses" and possessions. Yes, that could surely be true. That's one reason. At this point in our conversation over dinner, I felt helpless. What am I, what is the world supposed to do if some people don't want to change. "That's where God is truly the only one who has the power to act. We can do all we want to help out, but we can't change people's mentalities. But we can pray that God will change them." Dang, that girl is wise. But the world isn't gonna buy it…that ancient systems and commonly held beliefs will change by prayer. Well little voice in my head that may be playing Devil's Advocate but is stifling my newfound voice, you can just be quiet because I have an idea, let's prove the world wrong. (Now addressing my readers rather than myself, I apologize for the schizophrenia…) Some study was done that looked at people who were ill who received prayer and prayed themselves for healing as well verses those who did neither. Results showed that one group did not heal more quickly than the other…so basically, that prayer is a bunch of bull. Well that was a study on faith, which defines itself as being certain of what is unseen (Hebrews 11:1), and I'm pretty sure that a study doesn't accept things that are unseen as evidence, so I think that study is bull.
So where to from here…."We want to be good Christians, but deep down we trust that only the power of the state and its militaries and markets can really make a difference in the world…..Amid all the buzz, we are ready to turn off our TVs, pick up our Bibles, and reimagine the world"-Shane Claiborne in "Jesus for President" p. 20. Vamos! Adonde? Let's begin by opening our eyes to suffering, letting ourselves have compassion on the oppressed, know that they are our brothers and sisters under God, let that move us, respond in practical ways in the vocation, location, or calling that God has placed on our hearts, and, above all, let us fix our eyes upon God, seek to know Him and His mysterious ways, and be bold in our prayers! Perhaps a summary of our response to suffering in the world in one sentence is too simple. Or perhaps it is what we need to go back to. The simple, the basic, the bottom, the radical.
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