I feel so old, even though I can't even legally drink. Among my girlfriends, none of us are actively pursuing an MRS degree, but today I discussed adoption with one and giving the maid of honor speech at my wedding with another.
I feel so young. We sit and stare into the Carolina Blue sky (good choice, God) and dream together about the endless possibilities, people, and places that our futures hold.
I don't ever want to stop dreaming.
I don't ever want to stop dancing.
I want to be the 60-something couple dancing to live jazz on the grass at Weaver St. Market, their hair poofy and grey and faces illuminated with the animation of children.
I want to keep cracking open watermelons on rocks near a creek in the woods and slurping them until my stomach's aching.
I want to be exactly who I am today.
jueves, 16 de julio de 2009
martes, 14 de julio de 2009
A Healing Soldier, a Heartful Conversation
During my recent visit to the state of Iowa, I was so blessed to have met a 23-year-old man, we’ll call him Aaron, who serves in the National Guard and trained and fought in Iraq for about two years. At a glance, I couldn’t help but notice his tall, strong build, his big white truck that he had just bought that morning, and his humor that he wears on his sleeve. After talking for a while, it became evident that Aaron has many creative ideas and hopes for future businesses and investments—a very intelligent person.
Aaron and I got to have lunch together one day, during which time we shared ideas and stories about war and peace. Aaron told me several stories from his time in Iraq, about the machine that he was turned into as a designated marksman, and about how he lost his faith in God during his time there.
As the designated marksman, he was given full authority to shoot an enemy if he saw them even with just an automatic car key that had a button—anything that could potentially be used to detonate. After seeing some awful things done by Iraqi soldiers, Aaron found himself hoping that the people in his scope would pull out a similar tool of sorts, anything, just so that he could have a reason to shoot them.
As I sat across from this man, I saw the desperation of confusion reflected in his vibrant green eyes. I saw a loving person who was placed in a hellish environment that calls forth the worst in anyone—an environment that harnesses anger and fear and turns it into a hunger for justice—an environment that estranges one’s own reflection in a mirror.
“I used to be so strong in my faith,” Aaron told me. “I wanted to make sure that everyone knew about God. I used to be such a compassionate person.” He said that he just eventually stopped praying in Iraq. “Some people didn’t lose their faith,” he said. “Some were able to look at all the hurt and the evil and understand that there is a plan for all of it. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t see a way to justify it all.”
I told Aaron that he was precisely right in not justifying the evil that he saw and perpetrated with the often over-used phrase “I know God has a bigger plan.” I didn’t try to comfort him with this phrase either. I would be lying through my teeth and serving as a false witness to God if I had done so.
I surely hope that Aaron will find a good reason to rediscover his faith again—now that he is out of battle, now that he has started to overcome PTSD, now that he has courage to ask what is good.
I’m glad that Aaron didn’t find his strength in war by praying that God would bless and keep his hands that killed, because I don’t believe that the God of the Bible does that. I believe that God sent Jesus to Earth as an example for us to follow. WWJD? He wouldn’t kill. When he was beaten, he turned the other cheek, not because he was weak, but because love overcomes evil. Jesus let them kill him, and then he overcame death.
So what should we do when our nation asks us to go to war, to kill, to defeat evil? First, we should ask ourselves to whom we answer: to God or to America. If the answer is America, then going to a state-mandated war is disobedience to God in the form of idolatry (just as many things could be, ie: the church, a substance, an education, a job…) If the answer is God, then we must answer to God in the form of obedience, which manifests itself as trying to follow the righteousness and holiness in which Jesus walked—a life of radical love that overcame evil—in any situation we face, even if that is during a time of war.
At this point, Aaron is unsettled by violence, which has taken a toll on his body, his mind and his faith. And that’s the first step in becoming a peacemaker.
Aaron and I got to have lunch together one day, during which time we shared ideas and stories about war and peace. Aaron told me several stories from his time in Iraq, about the machine that he was turned into as a designated marksman, and about how he lost his faith in God during his time there.
As the designated marksman, he was given full authority to shoot an enemy if he saw them even with just an automatic car key that had a button—anything that could potentially be used to detonate. After seeing some awful things done by Iraqi soldiers, Aaron found himself hoping that the people in his scope would pull out a similar tool of sorts, anything, just so that he could have a reason to shoot them.
As I sat across from this man, I saw the desperation of confusion reflected in his vibrant green eyes. I saw a loving person who was placed in a hellish environment that calls forth the worst in anyone—an environment that harnesses anger and fear and turns it into a hunger for justice—an environment that estranges one’s own reflection in a mirror.
“I used to be so strong in my faith,” Aaron told me. “I wanted to make sure that everyone knew about God. I used to be such a compassionate person.” He said that he just eventually stopped praying in Iraq. “Some people didn’t lose their faith,” he said. “Some were able to look at all the hurt and the evil and understand that there is a plan for all of it. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t see a way to justify it all.”
I told Aaron that he was precisely right in not justifying the evil that he saw and perpetrated with the often over-used phrase “I know God has a bigger plan.” I didn’t try to comfort him with this phrase either. I would be lying through my teeth and serving as a false witness to God if I had done so.
I surely hope that Aaron will find a good reason to rediscover his faith again—now that he is out of battle, now that he has started to overcome PTSD, now that he has courage to ask what is good.
I’m glad that Aaron didn’t find his strength in war by praying that God would bless and keep his hands that killed, because I don’t believe that the God of the Bible does that. I believe that God sent Jesus to Earth as an example for us to follow. WWJD? He wouldn’t kill. When he was beaten, he turned the other cheek, not because he was weak, but because love overcomes evil. Jesus let them kill him, and then he overcame death.
So what should we do when our nation asks us to go to war, to kill, to defeat evil? First, we should ask ourselves to whom we answer: to God or to America. If the answer is America, then going to a state-mandated war is disobedience to God in the form of idolatry (just as many things could be, ie: the church, a substance, an education, a job…) If the answer is God, then we must answer to God in the form of obedience, which manifests itself as trying to follow the righteousness and holiness in which Jesus walked—a life of radical love that overcame evil—in any situation we face, even if that is during a time of war.
At this point, Aaron is unsettled by violence, which has taken a toll on his body, his mind and his faith. And that’s the first step in becoming a peacemaker.
sábado, 4 de julio de 2009
My [Un] Patriotic Mantra
My Twitter friend and favorite author, Shane Claiborne, had a live interview with CBS one morning while he was in Baghdad as a peacemaker (story told in his and Chris Haw's book "Jesus for President"). They asked him what he thought about America and they hung up on him in the first minute. Curious if Shane and his friends had committed treason, they later inquired if they were "traitors." Shane wrote them the following response:
"Traitor?
If this bloody, counterfeit liberation is American... I am proud to be un-American.
If depleted uranium is American... I am proud to be un-American.
If US sanctions are American... I am proud to be un-American.
If the imposed 'peace' of Pax Americana is American... I am proud to be un-American.
But if grace, humility, and nonviolence are American... I am proud to be American.
If sharing to create a safe, sustainable world is American... I am proud to be American.
If loving our enemies is American... I am proud to be American.
Regardless, I would die for the people of New York, but I will not kill for them... my kingdom is not of this world.
I would die for the people of Baghdad, but I will not kill for them... my kingdom is not of this world. I will stand in the way of terror and war... my kingdom is not of this world.
I will pledge an allegiance deeper than nationalism, to my God and to my family... my kingdom is not of this world. I will use my life to shout, 'Another world is possible' ... for my kingdom is from another place. 'My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight... but now my kingdom is from another place' (Jesus; John 18:36)."
Thanks, Shane, for writing that so eloquently and clearly. Today, and every day that I see an American flag or hear talk of the military, I find myself moving further and further from patriotism. Let's look back at how America achieved its reputation as the great, the rich, the powerful, and the free. Ever since the days our founding fathers, America has encroached upon the freedom, well-being, and resources of others to secure its own. As far as I can remember, this has never been a good strategy of making friends. However, many are still drawn to this sexy, alluring beast that is America. "Come sit, come dine, come taste our fine wine," she invites. We are drawn. We approach the table, only to realize that the seats are limited, and there are many of us. Pushing and shoving ensues as we fight over a seat at the table of wealth and satisfaction. Although the seats are filled, we wait, because we see the guests at the table drinking the sweet wine, laying their heads on the table, and drifting to sleep. Once in a deep slumber, they get carried away by men dressed in uniform, and there's a space open at the table, so we begin to push again, so that we may have a taste, just so that we can know, because with watching, you can only fantasize.
Don't taste the wine, friends. In fact, don't even approach the table. There are green pastures and fresh air on the other side of the door. There are tie-dye t-shirts instead of red, white and blue ones. There are washing machines powered by stationary bikes and centers where kids and adults sit side-by-side to create music and art. There is no need, because everyone shares their resources. There is no wine to allure you (although we can make it out of water in an instant), but you can smell the aroma of coffee that was fairly traded.
Come play with us. Come and create with us. Come, and let's live the dream that another world is possible.
"Traitor?
If this bloody, counterfeit liberation is American... I am proud to be un-American.
If depleted uranium is American... I am proud to be un-American.
If US sanctions are American... I am proud to be un-American.
If the imposed 'peace' of Pax Americana is American... I am proud to be un-American.
But if grace, humility, and nonviolence are American... I am proud to be American.
If sharing to create a safe, sustainable world is American... I am proud to be American.
If loving our enemies is American... I am proud to be American.
Regardless, I would die for the people of New York, but I will not kill for them... my kingdom is not of this world.
I would die for the people of Baghdad, but I will not kill for them... my kingdom is not of this world. I will stand in the way of terror and war... my kingdom is not of this world.
I will pledge an allegiance deeper than nationalism, to my God and to my family... my kingdom is not of this world. I will use my life to shout, 'Another world is possible' ... for my kingdom is from another place. 'My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight... but now my kingdom is from another place' (Jesus; John 18:36)."
Thanks, Shane, for writing that so eloquently and clearly. Today, and every day that I see an American flag or hear talk of the military, I find myself moving further and further from patriotism. Let's look back at how America achieved its reputation as the great, the rich, the powerful, and the free. Ever since the days our founding fathers, America has encroached upon the freedom, well-being, and resources of others to secure its own. As far as I can remember, this has never been a good strategy of making friends. However, many are still drawn to this sexy, alluring beast that is America. "Come sit, come dine, come taste our fine wine," she invites. We are drawn. We approach the table, only to realize that the seats are limited, and there are many of us. Pushing and shoving ensues as we fight over a seat at the table of wealth and satisfaction. Although the seats are filled, we wait, because we see the guests at the table drinking the sweet wine, laying their heads on the table, and drifting to sleep. Once in a deep slumber, they get carried away by men dressed in uniform, and there's a space open at the table, so we begin to push again, so that we may have a taste, just so that we can know, because with watching, you can only fantasize.
Don't taste the wine, friends. In fact, don't even approach the table. There are green pastures and fresh air on the other side of the door. There are tie-dye t-shirts instead of red, white and blue ones. There are washing machines powered by stationary bikes and centers where kids and adults sit side-by-side to create music and art. There is no need, because everyone shares their resources. There is no wine to allure you (although we can make it out of water in an instant), but you can smell the aroma of coffee that was fairly traded.
Come play with us. Come and create with us. Come, and let's live the dream that another world is possible.
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